Batman v. Superman: A Spoiler-Free Review

Let me preface this by saying that, going against the grain, I wasn’t particularly hyped for this movie - the notion of Batman fighting Superman I found generally eyerolling. I want to see those two team up to fight bad guys, not battle each other. Which - I don’t think I’m spoiling anything, considering this is movie intended to be setup for the Justice League - they do set aside their differences and work together in the final act. But I’ll get to that. Let’s just jump right in.

Let me start with what I enjoyed before I start venting my dislikes. I really liked Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. It was a different interpretation of the character that I enjoyed, a smarmy jackass who actually turns out to be quite the chessmaster and has a very elaborate behind-the-scenes plans for evil things. My sister described him as ‘evil Willy Wonka’ which is actually a reasonably apt description. (Of course, Willy Wonka is quite diabolical anyway, but I digress.).

I liked how Batman was portrayed. Whenever Ben Affleck was cast, there was a certain amount of outrage. However, it turned out to not be justified - he pulled off a fantastic Bruce Wayne, one that was easy to get invested in his struggle and understandable in his reasoning that leads him to square off against the Man of Steel.

I also liked how the movie addressed the philosophical and tactical differences between the two - exploring the idea of Superman as a god walking among us, saving the world but still mistrusted and feared because of those powers and the resulting dilemmas. Batman, of course, as the shadowed vigilante of the night - working beyond the law, rarely seen, and striking fear in the hearts of his enemies intentionally.

It’s really interesting setup and really interesting stuff that makes for a more cerebral sort of experience. You understand where both sides are coming from and how these differences could lead them into a fight. Of course, all of that is dropped in the last act for a plot point based on a random bit of trivia - something I think people will either unbearably contrived or actually genius.
But that, alas, brings us to the end of what I felt were the movie’s positives. Now we must turn our attention to the negatives. Let’s start with the minor stuff first. I can’t imagine a more shoehorned setup for the rest of the Justice League. Seriously. The movie actually has to stop everything its doing and show us video clips of them. They are literally attachments in an email.

Secondly - this one is more abstract and my biggest gripe - the tone. DC has had this reputation for a while now of taking everything way too seriously for its own good. There’s literally nothing to lighten the mood - the tone continues to be super grim, super dark and nary a shred of optimism or even a little bit of humor. The Marvel Cinematic Universe - with its much lighter tone - this is not. Everything is pessimistic, grim and the future is bleak. Nobody jokes, nobody laughs - I can’t even remember anyone even having an actual genuine smile throughout the movie.

 It’s that sort of movie: a grandiose spectacle, a vast super serious epic about the Man of Steel and Caped Crusader, worth seeing for the action and excitement but its not particularly fun. It’s really just a slog.

 The tone extends even to the color palate. Everything is gray, sterile and cold. With the exception of one - maybe two - scenes, the whole movie might as well have taken place either at night or on a string of bleak cheerless days in January. Ugh. Give me color! I don’t expect perpetual sunshine and rainbows, but seriously. Lighten up, movie!

You are, at its core, about a billionaire dressing up like a bat facing off against an alien from an exploded planet. Not everything has to be so, flippin’ gloomy.

Finally, the ending. And this is where I have to tread lightly (and I will go quickly and be as vague as I can). I rolled my eyes. I was supposed to feel emotions at what I watching but, really, all I could think was this: I know that this isn’t going to last, because I know how this works. You, movie, know its going to last and every single person in the audience knows it too.
The credits rolled and I left.

All in all, its not horrible. Worth a watch? Sure, if you’re a fan of the characters.

 But I still prefer the MCU over what DC is attempting here. I rate it a 6/10.